Words of Not-So-Much Wisdom

This Old New Year

"Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?" ~Donnie Darko.
So, 'tis 11:03pm right now. On the 11th of January in the year of our Lord 2007. Well at least in the year of your Lord, agnosticism is fun like that. And a lot of things have changed in this, the New Year. I have finally decided to give up on Logan. For those of you that have no idea what I am talking about because I don't post stuff that often (welcome to college life ladies and gentleman, if you attempt to catch me at a free moment you are indeed lucky) Logan and I broke up. Awhile ago. But, we didn't change anything about the way that we acted together out in public or in the privacy that we had. It killed me everytime that he had to reassure someone else that we weren't dating. Worst of all, he kept telling me that he wanted to get back together the whole time, but he made no effort to work with me to that point. I tried having a relationship with someone that didn't last very long during the duration of those last two months, it didn't work because of two things 1) I was still in love with Logan, in all romanticized ways and 2) Jacob was looking for a wife and started to tell me that he wanted to marry me about two weeks into the relationship (kinda scared me) and there were just too many differences there. SO, I gave up there, got my hopes back up with Logan the week before I came back to school, to get them shot down again, (it breaks my heart to see him smile still, and to be around him) I want to be his best friend, he wants me to be his best friend. I will be, it's just going to take me awhile yet to get there, but, with deep breathes and enough lectures from Professor Ling on Confucianism and Daoist Philosophy I can achieve anything.
So, something WONDERFUL happened to me on the third of January. My friend Nate has an older brother that he thought would like to meet me, so, hence, Nate set me up on a "blind date" with his 22 year old, older brother Nicolas Michael Sexton. Lemme tell you what, I think this is the closest thing that soulmates get to because as soon as Nic walked in the door it was a mutual instant connection that only became more and more apparent as the evening wore on. We've discussed the pains that are in both our pasts, he knows that my depression has a tendancy to resurface. and he's willing to face that challenge. Let's just hope that its a good long time before he has to face that part of me.
I also got two new tattoos when I wasn home for Christmas break, I dropped $80 on the pair. Its the words "Aequitas" which is written on my right hip (it's Lating for Justice) and the word "Veritas" is written on my left hip (Latin for Truth). Very nice. Nic likes my tattoos, and that I'm an outspoken liberal loudmouth freespirit, He's paying for my industrial bar that I want to get next August. I can't wait to bring him home to meet everyone back there. He's from New Castle Indiana and I know you'lll all love him because he's a video game nerd ( thats part of the reason I do) I swear, it was apparent that Nic and I are going to be together for a good long time. Keep your fingers crossed for me on this relationship, I'm tired of getting hurt. I got a 2.7 GPA for my first semester, thats not nearly as good enough as what I plan to do in the spring, and I know that you all have faith in me. Thank you dear friends for sticking by me until the end. I know I'm an asshole and tough to bear with sometimes, just know that I love and value each and EVERY one of you that has been with me through thick and thin. You're amazing, and you're all the real reason that I keep on living. Thank you.

posted by PomLindsay @ 8:04 AM